Life according to me…

Last Thursday I got the pleasure of joining my dad and brothers on my dad’s boat. I was blessed to have someone come and watch the kids so I could go spend time with them. What a day it was. The sun was out some of the time, but it was not too hot. We had lunch at the fish camp which is a little place where you can rent boats and cabins or take an airboat ride. We cruised on the lake and threw out some line some of the time, but nothing was biting. It was still fun even with not catching a fish.

This was the first time my bros and dad and I had spent time together like that in quite some time. With kids and their busy schedules, we hardly ever get to have quality time like that. I was so thankful to spend time with them - even though they are all very quiet, soft spoken, and don’t say much. Just the company and the time on the water was enough for me.

Spend time with the ones you love. Life is too short.

So, on Friday my voice started to fade and my sinuses began acting up yet again. Saturday my voice was gone and it has been gone since then. I have just had a sinus infection not more than a few weeks ago and I am pretty dern sick of being sick. Not having a voice is a strange feeling for me. I am normally a loudmouth and now I can’t speak hardly at all. I did some research and there is really nothing to do for laryngitis except rest your voice and take a decongestant and try not to cough a lot. Well having the sinus problem coughs do happen, and hurt a bit, but I am trying to keep a cough drop in to keep my throat soothed and the coughing to a minimum.

I have been thinking about all of the upheavals that have continuously occurred as of late to me and my family. I have come to the conclusion that there is a lack of focus on my part on my God and that is contributing to the chaos that is around me. I am very aware that if I focus on Him, He will “set my path straight”, but for whatever reason, I have failed to do it. So I am asking for your help with some of this. If you hear me being a potty mouth (which you won’t hear for a while considering the state of my voice right now), please remind me about my revelation regarding lawlessness. I need to obey God’s laws so that He can bless me and my family. If you hear me trash talking anyone or anything, please remind me also of my revelation. I need to get my thoughts in check and since I am so open with speaking my thoughts, having those who hear them remind me will help me. I want to get my heart back on track to the person it belongs to so that I can actually begin to live life abuntantly.

I have discovered that it’s not really a ‘journey’ (see blog title) because Christ already came so we could have this life. The journey is in honoring what Christ did for us and what He continually provides for us each day. I need to focus more on this part. I pray I can.

He was sitting there beside me throwin’ doubles down
when he ordered up his third he looked around
then he looked at me and said I do believe I’ll have one more.
I hate this bar and I hate to drink, but on second thought tonight I think
I hate everything.

Then he opened up his billfold and threw a $20 down
and a faded photograph fell out and hit the ground
and I picked it up, he said thank ya bud
I put it in his hand, he said I probably oughta throw this one away
’cause she’s the reason I feel this way, I hate everything.

I hate my job, and I hate my life
If it werent for my two kids, I’d hate my ex-wife
I know I should move on and try to start again
but I just can’t get over her leaving me for him
then he shook his head and looked down at his ring and said
I hate everything

He said that one bedroom apartment where I get my mail
is really not a home, it’s more like a jail
with a swimming pool and a parking lot view, man, it’s just great.
I hate summer, winter, fall, and spring
red and yellow, purple, blue and green.
I hate everything

I hate my job, and I hate my life
If it werent for my two kids, I’d hate my ex-wife
I know I should move on and try to start again
but I just can’t get over her leaving me for him
then he shook his head and looked down at his ring and said
I hate everything

So I pulled out my phone and I called my house
I said babe, I’m coming home, we’re gonna work this out
I paid for his drinks and I told him thanks
thanks for everything…

You ever have a moment where everything just sucks? I do. Today has been one of those days, I guess, between the kids and the meds and the marriage and everything else, sometimes I just hate it all. But don’t you worry, the meds will get regulated again, the kids are angels and the marriage is just fine. But sometimes I do feel that way.

Saturday night Steve and I paid a babysitter for the first time ever so we could go out. I was itching to go out so very badly, I would have done anything to get a sitter. Even though Steve didn’t get to leave work until late, we went down to Citywalk with Jes and Phil and had a fun time. Steve actually bounced a little bit to some of the music in some of the clubs. We have the best of times when we are able to get away from the hustle and bustle of our kids and jobs and stuff. It was nice to be out, even though we got called home a bit earlier than expected because Baby Steve couldn’t stay asleep. What can I say, he is my night owl!

The past few days I have had terrible headaches and dizziness. The past few days have also been South Beach days. Well, this afternoon I thought I would try to eat something with carbs in it to see if that was what was giving me the symptoms and sure enough, before I could finish my granola bar my headache was gone. It was so weird. I had read that South Beach is not for diabetics and that if you are diabetic and start it you should start differently than others…and even though I don’t think I have full blown diabetes, I think I do have a blood sugar problem which is why it was so hard to do the first phase of SB. So, I am going back to just eating healthy and trying to get more exercise in which should help me to achieve my goals for our cruise. I plan to hang a picture of a cruise ship and the bathing suit I want on the fridge to help motivate me, though over-eating is never a problem for me because I am normally way to busy to sit and eat. My little ones keep me nice and busy which has really helped my eating habits.

So, yeah, everyone has been sick and mommy has been putting in some overtime. First Steve got sick so when he wasn’t working he was home in bed, which meant mommy had to be both mommy and daddy for a while. Then I got sick and have been battling a sinus infection for a week or so. Note to all: NEVER BLOW YOUR NOSE TOO MUCH when you are sick. Your sinuses will not drain all the way and you will back mucus up into them which can possibly cause a bad bad infection where you just want to cut your entire nose and face off. Trust me when I say this.

It’s been difficult in the having to take care of everyone, but luckily I have remained as stable as possible through it. I am proud of myself for that. My baby boy has a sinus infection and I have been up most of the past few nights with him, and normally I thought I would be pulling my hair out by now, but I am just trying to remain relaxed and focused on his care and the care of everyone else (including myself) so that we can all get better. Once everyone recovers from their colds and such, I am going and getting some nice multi-vitamins. We need to stay healthy around here, being sick is too hard on our family.

Saturday my hubby turned 28. He had the day off work so I sent him to get an hour massage, and then he came home and napped for the afternoon. He asked to be able to sleep for his birthday -so he got it. Then that evening we had family and a few friends over for dinner and cake. It was nice to have all of the babies together and Steve’s bro/sis/mom and dad here to wish him a happy birthday. When the family part of the evening was over, the few of us left all sat around the table and laughed ourselves silly for the night. It was a fun, let loose evening that both Steve and I needed after the stresses that have been pressuring us lately. I almost canceled the party because of how yukky I was feeling, but I ended up doing it anyway because I could tell Steve wanted it, and he rarely says what he actually wants. His mom helped me out, and our dear Kenna helped us out too and it wasn’t so bad.

We may actually have some friends over weekly to sit at the table and laugh, maybe play some cards, just some sort of social fun at home whenever we can. It was refreshing to see Steve sitting with friends and especially a co-worker or two and having a good time because when he is at work he is very quiet and serious. I invited his assistant manager over so that they could bond on a social level and help their work relationship. I have known Shawn (Steve’s asst.) for a long time and knew he would fit right in. Sure enough, even though Steve was skeptical, he thanked me for inviting him.

I am just pluggng through things around here - I haven’t seen my Lauren in 2 weeks because she went on a CRUISE (i am jealous but counting down the days to ours) and then she had family in town. Now, I can’t go see her until we all get over being sick because her little ones can’t catch it. I do miss hanging out with her, Bubba and Baby Jonah. We have the best time together.

I plan to start on the South Beach diet soon. Steve’s mom has done VERY well with it and I plan to do it with my mom. I want to get a tankini for our cruise (a 2-piece that is not skimpy like a bikini) and I want to shed some having-baby fat to do it. I also know that being smaller and healthier will benefit me and my family immensely. So, this may turn into a food journal for a while, but hey, you can dig it, I promise.

Ok more later - peece out!

More later!!!