Sorry I haven’t written in a while. I’ll be perfectly honest, I will sit down at the computer and want to write but then just feel blah and decide against it. I don’t want to write blahs. I am in the stage of pregnancy that I call the first trimester funk. Here is why.
The first trimester of a pregnancy is the hardest. It is the most tiring and most taxing on your body. It takes most of your energy to grow the baby at the beginning and it is a zap to your system. I am still adjusting to this feeling along with taking care of the children, and anytime I get a break I want to just lie down and do nothing. Not to mention, my hormones are everywhere and there are times I am so depressed I don’t want to look at anyone, and other times I am so happy and elated I can’t sit still. So, I just keep it all as ‘first trimester blas’ and have kept lots of my whacky thoughts to myself. My meds are still regulated when I can remember to take them. The doc ok’d me to keep taking my heavenly Lexapro and I do so well with it. I am so glad I finally found something that works. Anyways, even Steve remembers how after a certain period of time I felt significantly better during my last pregnancy. I just gotta get to 16 weeks and then I should start to feel better.
So, needless to say, there are times when I just have nothing to say and so that is why I haven’t blogged. Of course I have been very sad about what happened in New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. We are all sad in some way or another about what happened - no, not the storm, the humanity that has been affected and changed. I have researched the blame game and found a very reliable source who details the chain of command and what broke down very clearly. I see whose fault it was now that people were neglected for a week and not treated properly during the course of an emergency. If you want to see, click here. Between that tragedy, the 9/11 anniversary coming up…it’s hard to not let the goings on in the world just swallow ya up. More blahs.
Lucky for me, I have my faith and trust in God to carry me through. Not too long after the hurricane hit I caught a Michael W. Smith concert on T.V. He has a way with words and worship and through his concert God really spoke to me. The last song was “Everywhere I go, I see You”. It hit me HARD. Ya know what? We may not understand why that hurricane hit so hard and hurt so many people, but God does and God is there right now with those people. He is there just as He is right here with me as I type this, and right there with you as you read this. Even in tragedy, everywhere I go, I do see God working and there. What a stiff and much-needed reminder of the sovernity and love of our Savior. Believe it or not, God is everywhere and He knows what is happening on this planet. That thought is what has kept me going while watching hours of CNN, Oprah, telethon concerts and other various storm coverage. I know that God has our best interest at heart and He is taking care of us even when it doesn’t feel like He is. Life for us Coyle’s is going good and it’s all thanks to God. We aren’t well off, we have our share of miscommunications and problems, but things are good. Our children are healthy and happy and we have a roof over our heads. We thank God for that and pray for the people who don’t have those luxuries anymore. If anything, that storm sure makes you realize what you take for granted. I hope to stop taking things for granted and I watch storm coverage if for nothing else, but to remind me of all I am blessed with and to not take it for granted anymore.
I may not write too much in the next little while but I hope to. We have planned a vacation and are going to be gone for a week in October to regroup and relax before we hit the holidays and then baby time. All of this is very exciting for me. For us, the holidays go until February because our birthdays are then. Matter of fact, after that will be baby and then our anniversary! I am looking forward to the holidays so much - from watching my brother become a father to watching my twins enjoy the splendor of Christmas to carrying on traditions I have held to since I was a child. It will be a joyous time and I cannot wait.
Just as those upcoming times are joyous, I am thoroughly enjoying being pregnant again even with the first trimester funk. I love the idea of growing a child, introducing a little one into the world and into our family…all of the excitement of pregnancy. Sure, it has it’s days especially when smells make me just puke and I can’t get enough to eat…but this is a prime time in my life and I plan to enjoy it as if it could be my last child. It probably is. So, I intend to read every pregnancy magazine, go to every baby store and baby section of every store, rub my tummy often and buy as many maternity clothes as I can afford. This pregnancy has gone remarkably well so far compared to the last two I have had and I am so proud of that. God knew Steve and I needed a break and this is it. We are growing closer together and so is our family as we prepare for a new little one. Elisa even kisses my tummy goodnight when she goes to bed, though she is not totally sold on the idea of sharing her room with Sarah just yet. We will see how that goes.
That’s it for me now - I have to go get my ‘baby’ sleep (kinda like beauty sleep but different). More when I feel up to it…